Okay, working on new material. I am working on a bit about dating mothers and how some of them are obsessed with their children. They want you to read their child's report that they wrote back in first grade, or some moms have a tendency to remember events in their past by correlating them to the age of one of her kids at that time. "Yeah, that was in 1992, yes, 1992 because my youngest son was just five years old..." Or by what house they were living in at that time of an event. "That was in 1985 because I was living in Venice at that time" I am also working on another bit about some women who, when they greet me or when we say goodbye, hug me but purposely swing their body away from me...I guess so I won't get the wrong idea....oh man, it would be funny if a women did the complete opposite, if they are into me, by turning around and bending over, pushing their butt into my crouch..."nice meeting you Keith, (then she turns around, bends over, and peeps behind her looking at me) hope to see you again." I'm laughing right now (okay, maybe you're not) AND I want to make fun of a commercial of the new Steven Segal reality show, where cameras follow him as a deputy sheriff. Voice over of Steven Segal's husky low voice...I've made a living in the movies. But over the past 20 years, I've been a cop. My name is Steven Segal. then we see him yelling at a guy for not obeying orders when he was being pulled over and the guy looks up, stares at Steven with a confused and frighten look and then squeals, "man, that's Steven Segal!!" This guy probably is thinking, "man, I'm so fucking high right now, I'm hallucinating that I just got pulled over by Steven Segal." Probably that's what he'll tell his friends the next day. "Man, I tell you, I have to stop getting high. Last night I was so fucking high that I swear I was pulled over by Steven Segal."
Now that's funny!!! Okay, just a peek at the comedy mind of Keith Michael Ashton...
Hey, I had fun last night at Amsterdam Cafe. Some very funny folks. There was one woman who had me in stitches. Man, she was funny, I need to get her name. Got to give her some props on my website.