New material

Okay, working on new material. I am working on a bit about dating mothers and how some of them are obsessed with their children. They want you to read their child's report that they wrote back in first grade, or some moms have a tendency to remember events in their past by correlating them to the age of one of her kids at that time. "Yeah, that was in 1992, yes, 1992 because my youngest son was just five years old..." Or by what house they were living in at that time of an event. "That was in 1985 because I was living in Venice at that time" I am also working on another bit about some women who, when they greet me or when we say goodbye, hug me but purposely swing their body away from me...I guess so I won't get the wrong idea....oh man, it would be funny if a women did the complete opposite, if they are into me, by turning around and bending over, pushing their butt into my crouch..."nice meeting you Keith, (then she turns around, bends over, and peeps behind her looking at me) hope to see you again." I'm laughing right now (okay, maybe you're not) AND I want to make fun of a commercial of the new Steven Segal reality show, where cameras follow him as a deputy sheriff. Voice over of Steven Segal's husky low voice...I've made a living in the movies. But over the past 20 years, I've been a cop. My name is Steven Segal. then we see him yelling at a guy for not obeying orders when he was being pulled over and the guy looks up, stares at Steven with a confused and frighten look and then squeals, "man, that's Steven Segal!!" This guy probably is thinking, "man, I'm so fucking high right now, I'm hallucinating that I just got pulled over by Steven Segal." Probably that's what he'll tell his friends the next day. "Man, I tell you, I have to stop getting high. Last night I was so fucking high that I swear I was pulled over by Steven Segal."

Now that's funny!!! Okay, just a peek at the comedy mind of Keith Michael Ashton...

Hey, I had fun last night at Amsterdam Cafe. Some very funny folks. There was one woman who had me in stitches. Man, she was funny, I need to get her name. Got to give her some props on my website.

A great quote from Seal

I love this quote from Seal, "But we're never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy"

Or from the Purple Majesty (aka Prince), "let's go crazy!" "let's get nuts!"

My audition for Detective Roebuck in Chop

Well I had my audition for that detective role in the movie ... Chop. I had a good read. I had fun. When I audition for a detective role I usually like to wear my over the shoulder or side gun holster with my gun (not a real gun, of course) and my handcuffs and badge but I was a bit apprehensive wearing the gun at this audition because the audition was in a business building (versus a studio lot), and I think it was inappropriate of me to carry the gun onto the premises...but I wanted to completely sell myself...so I struggled, mentally in my car after I parked, deciding if I should bring the gun. I decided not to. Before I headed to the audition suite, I stopped by a medical clinic on the first level off the building to borrow a stapler so that I can staple my resume onto my headshot(DUH Keith, you weren't prepared). After getting permission from the cutie behind the counter, and as I reached over for the stapler, I noticed a woman standing in an office in the back looking at me with concern. I think she saw my handcuffs and gun holster. So I jumped over the counter and pistol whipped both the cutie and the woman in the back office, then I snatched their purses and jumped back over the counter...oh, what, sorry, I'm losing it...I didn't do those things, I just thanked the cutie for the stapler, and walked off very slowly in my detective with bad news bravdo.

I headed upstairs to the audition. There stood a very attractive actress waiting for her turn to audition. Finally it was my turn. They seem to appreciate how I look. I had a good read. Mission accomplish. Hope I get it. I would be sweet!!!

Great Quote from Drew Barrymore

Quote from Drew Barrymore, "Let your freak flag fly, and if someone doesn't get you, move on."

CHOP, CHOP, CIOP

Hey wish me luck. I will be auditioning for a detective role for a movie by producer Chad Ferrin called Chop. It will be another detective role for me!! Det. Roebuck. The sides looks good. I'm very excited. So this Friday at 12 noon, think of me, that's when I'll be auditioning!!

I had an audition today for a Wells Fargo commercial. It went well. I look good as a banker.

I friend of a friend told my friend (are you keeping up) that he saw me in a commercial. Its a commercial I shot last year...I was a doctor. Hmm, can't remember what the commercial is selling...I'll have to look it up.

Bye-bye

This Friday, October 16th - I'll be in North Hollywood

Amsterdam Cafe
10905 Magnolia Boulevard
North Hollywood, CA 91601
(818) 506-1938
Show starts at 7pm
I get 10 minutes
This will be my first time performing at this venue
Hmmm, I think it's a small coffee house
whatever, come join me, it's gonna be fun!!
oh, this is a Anna Lane Sugarplum Productions
Got to give the producer a shout out!!

Sunday, October 11th

Ice House Comedy Club
24 N Mentor Ave
Pasadena, CA 91106-1745
(626) 577-1894

I will be performing 7-8 minutes in the Annex room

I you come just to see me I'll get you in for free.
If you want to stick around and check out the other comics -- two drink mininum.

Saturday, October 10th

Moose Lodge
1901 West Burbank, Burbank 91506
(818) 842-5851
Show starts at 7:30.
Cover is a one drink mininum
For the price of the drink you get a good time and a prize ticket - they give away prizes.

I will be performing 6-7 minutes -- some new material!!

Hope to see some of you there!!

Thursday, October 8th

OASIS NIGHTCLUB
1386 East Foothill Blvd. UPLAND, Ca 91786
(Just 35 miles East of Downtown Los Angeles)
10 PM

Who Stole the Electric Car?

Going to the the screening of Who Stole The Electric Car. This is a movie I worked on with directors James and Robert Dastoli. Visit the official website at www.whostoletheelectriccar.com.