Amelia Borella

Amelia Borella is the comedian I saw for the first time in Amsterdam Cafe. She was very funny!!

This is it

Kanye West for his confidence with his creativity and commercial success and the ability to be killing these ns.

Peyton Manning for his ability to read the defense and change the play within seconds and get the yardage.

MJ for his genuine love for his God given talent and for his passion.

Sharon Lacey for her focus and determination to perform just about anywhere at anytime, no matter what.

I'm thinking positive and I'm bringing the brilliance.

New material

Okay, working on new material. I am working on a bit about dating mothers and how some of them are obsessed with their children. They want you to read their child's report that they wrote back in first grade, or some moms have a tendency to remember events in their past by correlating them to the age of one of her kids at that time. "Yeah, that was in 1992, yes, 1992 because my youngest son was just five years old..." Or by what house they were living in at that time of an event. "That was in 1985 because I was living in Venice at that time" I am also working on another bit about some women who, when they greet me or when we say goodbye, hug me but purposely swing their body away from me...I guess so I won't get the wrong idea....oh man, it would be funny if a women did the complete opposite, if they are into me, by turning around and bending over, pushing their butt into my crouch..."nice meeting you Keith, (then she turns around, bends over, and peeps behind her looking at me) hope to see you again." I'm laughing right now (okay, maybe you're not) AND I want to make fun of a commercial of the new Steven Segal reality show, where cameras follow him as a deputy sheriff. Voice over of Steven Segal's husky low voice...I've made a living in the movies. But over the past 20 years, I've been a cop. My name is Steven Segal. then we see him yelling at a guy for not obeying orders when he was being pulled over and the guy looks up, stares at Steven with a confused and frighten look and then squeals, "man, that's Steven Segal!!" This guy probably is thinking, "man, I'm so fucking high right now, I'm hallucinating that I just got pulled over by Steven Segal." Probably that's what he'll tell his friends the next day. "Man, I tell you, I have to stop getting high. Last night I was so fucking high that I swear I was pulled over by Steven Segal."

Now that's funny!!! Okay, just a peek at the comedy mind of Keith Michael Ashton...

Hey, I had fun last night at Amsterdam Cafe. Some very funny folks. There was one woman who had me in stitches. Man, she was funny, I need to get her name. Got to give her some props on my website.

A great quote from Seal

I love this quote from Seal, "But we're never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy"

Or from the Purple Majesty (aka Prince), "let's go crazy!" "let's get nuts!"

My audition for Detective Roebuck in Chop

Well I had my audition for that detective role in the movie ... Chop. I had a good read. I had fun. When I audition for a detective role I usually like to wear my over the shoulder or side gun holster with my gun (not a real gun, of course) and my handcuffs and badge but I was a bit apprehensive wearing the gun at this audition because the audition was in a business building (versus a studio lot), and I think it was inappropriate of me to carry the gun onto the premises...but I wanted to completely sell myself...so I struggled, mentally in my car after I parked, deciding if I should bring the gun. I decided not to. Before I headed to the audition suite, I stopped by a medical clinic on the first level off the building to borrow a stapler so that I can staple my resume onto my headshot(DUH Keith, you weren't prepared). After getting permission from the cutie behind the counter, and as I reached over for the stapler, I noticed a woman standing in an office in the back looking at me with concern. I think she saw my handcuffs and gun holster. So I jumped over the counter and pistol whipped both the cutie and the woman in the back office, then I snatched their purses and jumped back over the counter...oh, what, sorry, I'm losing it...I didn't do those things, I just thanked the cutie for the stapler, and walked off very slowly in my detective with bad news bravdo.

I headed upstairs to the audition. There stood a very attractive actress waiting for her turn to audition. Finally it was my turn. They seem to appreciate how I look. I had a good read. Mission accomplish. Hope I get it. I would be sweet!!!

Great Quote from Drew Barrymore

Quote from Drew Barrymore, "Let your freak flag fly, and if someone doesn't get you, move on."

CHOP, CHOP, CIOP

Hey wish me luck. I will be auditioning for a detective role for a movie by producer Chad Ferrin called Chop. It will be another detective role for me!! Det. Roebuck. The sides looks good. I'm very excited. So this Friday at 12 noon, think of me, that's when I'll be auditioning!!

I had an audition today for a Wells Fargo commercial. It went well. I look good as a banker.

I friend of a friend told my friend (are you keeping up) that he saw me in a commercial. Its a commercial I shot last year...I was a doctor. Hmm, can't remember what the commercial is selling...I'll have to look it up.

Bye-bye

This Friday, October 16th - I'll be in North Hollywood

Amsterdam Cafe
10905 Magnolia Boulevard
North Hollywood, CA 91601
(818) 506-1938
Show starts at 7pm
I get 10 minutes
This will be my first time performing at this venue
Hmmm, I think it's a small coffee house
whatever, come join me, it's gonna be fun!!
oh, this is a Anna Lane Sugarplum Productions
Got to give the producer a shout out!!

Sunday, October 11th

Ice House Comedy Club
24 N Mentor Ave
Pasadena, CA 91106-1745
(626) 577-1894

I will be performing 7-8 minutes in the Annex room

I you come just to see me I'll get you in for free.
If you want to stick around and check out the other comics -- two drink mininum.

Saturday, October 10th

Moose Lodge
1901 West Burbank, Burbank 91506
(818) 842-5851
Show starts at 7:30.
Cover is a one drink mininum
For the price of the drink you get a good time and a prize ticket - they give away prizes.

I will be performing 6-7 minutes -- some new material!!

Hope to see some of you there!!

Thursday, October 8th

OASIS NIGHTCLUB
1386 East Foothill Blvd. UPLAND, Ca 91786
(Just 35 miles East of Downtown Los Angeles)
10 PM

Who Stole the Electric Car?

Going to the the screening of Who Stole The Electric Car. This is a movie I worked on with directors James and Robert Dastoli. Visit the official website at www.whostoletheelectriccar.com.

SHOW JUST ADDED!!

SATURDAY NIGHT, SEPTEMBER 26!!!
Zabumba
10714 Venice Blvd. Culver City, CA 90232
No cover, no drink minimum
7:30 pm
This Brazilian eatery is pretty cool
come down and meet my mother
I'll be doing my "good son" set
NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey funny man Carter Gregory passed by. Great seeing him. It's a must for you to see this guy live!!

Last Thursday I checked out Anthony J Brown's club, the J Spot. Roz Brown was hosting. Great room!!

Thursday, August 13th @ 8pm in Santa Monica - The Evil Comedy Hour

"The EVIL COMEDY HOUR"

Westside Comedy Theater
1323-A 3rd Street Promenade
Santa Monica, CA 90401
ph: 310.451.0850
You can find us in the alley between 3rd & 4th St.at the back of the Parking Garage S3 (Structure Three, whose entrance is on 4th Street just north of Santa Monica Blvd).
Tickets are $10 but email me for 2 for 1 admission infor
Emcee/Producer Raven Byron!!

Friday, August 28th @ 9pm, Cum C Ms. Lacey and Me

Coffee Haven
1708 E Broadway
Long Beach, CA 90802-3709
(562) 437-3785
If you find yourself in da LBC, you should pass by to check me out as well as a road comic from Portland, Oregon, who goes by the name of Sharon Lacey. We both will have 6 minutes. So I guarantee you 12 minutes of solid comedy for ya.

Thursday, August 20th, The Broadway Walk/Fashion Walk's Comedy Marathon

"The Broadway Fashion Walk" presents
"COMEDY WALK"
LOCATION:
BROADWAY-SPRING ARCADE BUILDING
542 S. Broadway - Los Angeles , CA 90013
(Parking in large garage between 4th & 5th on Spring Street for $5.)

King of Comedy Walk, comedian Stevie Mack, is back hosting this downtown L.A. evening of hilarity. I have a 8:10 pm, 10 minute slot. Hope you can stop by!

Wednesday, August 5 @ 9pm -- Zina's Restaurant and Bar

Zina's Restaurant and Bar
4525 Calle Mayor Torrance, CA 90505
310-378-2777
@ 9pm
10 minute set
Zina's hosts Hollywood's undiscovered comics with "Comedy On The Rocks" hosted by Joey Garza. Relax, have a couple of drinks, a bite to eat & a few laughs. No Cover. 2 Drink Minimum.

Ice House Annex Emcee -- Sunday, July 5th

Hey, I'll be emceeing the Ice House Annex, in Pasadena, tonight. Pass by and check out the show. Show starts at 7:30 p.m. Cover an two drink minimum.

Some up coming June gigs...

Tuesday, June 10 @ 9:00 pm
1160 Bar & Lounge
located in the basement of The Hotel of Hollywood (it's a Ramada hotel chain)
1160 Vermont Avenue
Hollywood, CA 90029
it's a free show, ya'll
(and free parking in the back off of Lexington Avenue)
This show is produced by the sexy & talented Roxy,
so if you don't come to see me, come to see Roxy!

Hey, this was a fun show. We had a fun couple from Utah in the audience and a handful of funny comics!!

Wednesday, June 11 @ 8:30 pm
Burbank Moose Lodge
1901 West Burbank Blvd.
Burbank, CA 91506
(3 blocks east of Buena Vista, north side of street)
$6 (which includes admission and a drink)
so you see a good comedy show and you can get yer drink only for $6
it will be my first time here...cum join me!!

Sunday, June 14 @ 7:30 pm
Ice House -- Annex stage
NO SHOW!!!!

24 N Mentor Avenue
Pasadena, CA 91106

(626) 577-1894

I will be performing for just about...hmm, maybe five minutes after the MC...so don't pay the cover if you just cum to see me...just see me before the show and I'll get you in to see my set...if you want to see the entire show...you will have to pay the cover and 2 drink miniimum.

NO SHOW!!! If you want to see me tonight...see me at Dave's on Broadway...

Sunday, June 14 after 8:30pm
Dave's on Broadway
708 E Broadway
Glendale, CA 91205
(818) 956-9123
this is a dive bar (drinks are cheap)... a singer/guitarist is scheduled to perform...I'll be doing some time when he takes a break...hey, I might host/produce a standup comedy show on a regular basis in this room...so come see..the beginning!!! (no cover) And I have to give a shout out to the beautiful bartender who invited me, Regina!!!


Monday, June 22 @ 8:15 pm
Skinny's Lounge
4923 Lankershim Blvd.
North Hollywood, CA 91601
it will be my first time here...enter at your own risk!!

Hey everybody, this Saturday, May 30, I'll be on VIP Vegas FM Radio. The show's hosts, Harvey and Michael will be on the air from 12 - 2pm (PST). For more information, check out their website @ www.vipvegasfm.com. Call in @ 702.731.1230 and ask me a question.

And this Sunday I will be working on some new and old material at The Ice House Annex in Pasadena @ 7:30pm. If you come by, say hello!!

Take care!!
KMA

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